another letter...

Carter is having a birthday this Thursday. He will be 'the big 10'! This is a huge day for him, a decade old, two digits, a year closer to his teenage years, and old enough for an air soft gun. I think he saw the progress Alec made with his cell phone letter and last week this was left on my pillow.

Of course we were already planning on buying him the air soft gun. We told him when he was 10 we would consider it. Until the following happened just the other night.

I was cooking dinner while Carter, Savvy and Tyson (Savvy's friend) were out front playing. I noticed Carter walking through the kitchen and into my bedroom. Then Savvy shortly came in after with her head down and went into my room as well. A couple minutes later, I thought it was weird that they didn't say anything as they walked by me, so I went to find them. Savvy was crying on my chair and Carter was standing by her, looking rather guilty. I asked what was going on and Savvy started crying harder, saying she didn't want Carter to get in trouble. So then I made Carter tell me what was going on. Turns out the little boy down the street was playing with an air soft gun outside and so the kids started talking about how bad it hurts to get hit with one of them. Savvy and Tyson asked Carter if it hurts and asked if he would shoot them with one. I guess Carter believed that because they asked to get shot, he had to do as they asked. The two 7 year olds wanted Carter to go get Alec's gun (that sounds so bad) and shoot them in the back. That's right, the back. Now I myself, have never been shot with one of them but have heard the farther away you are, the less pain. So it should have been the right thing to do when Carter made the kids walk a house away before he actually did his thing, right? Carter told me that he kept asking them, "Are you sure you want me to, are you sure, are you sure?" (Because an almost decade old, should ask the 7 year olds if they are sure) First up was Tyson. Carter did it. He hit him. Tyson replied that it didn't even hurt. Nothing. He didn't really even feel it. No big deal. Done. Then it was Savvy's turn. She didn't have the sweatshirt Tyson had on. Just a thin shirt. I guess Carter missed twice and Savvy thought that she was done, without even feeling it. "But wait", Carter said, "I didn't even hit you". So he shot it again. She got hit. And it hurt. She cried. And cried. She had a little corn sized welt on her back. She really tries to be tough, but she really isn't. Carter knows that she isn't. People who know me, probably feel sorry for Carter right now. But this time I was calm. I didn't raise my voice but I'm the first to admit, I'm probably a little too hard on my kids. I sent him right to his room after telling him there was no way he would be getting an air soft gun for his birthday! Shortly after, I followed him down and had a long talk on how old he is, and what a bad choice shooting his sister and her friend was. Then I made him walk across the street and tell Tyson, Michelle and Greg (mom and dad) he was sorry for doing that. The first time across he told Tyson sorry and then told him to tell his mom and dad that he was sorry too. I made him march right back there and tell them himself. Jer came home later and had his own good talk with him. I think he got it. The next day Michelle called me and told me to go 'give Carter a hug right now'. She said his little face was the saddest thing on her door step. She felt so bad for him when he came to apologize and just wanted to scoop him up and hug him right then, but she was probably a little afraid of getting in trouble from me! And then she quickly reminded me of a while ago when we were planning a big paint ball weekend up at the cabin with our friends. She said "isn't it funny that Carter's mom did the exact same thing to her husband?" Oh sure, she just had to bring up the fact that Jeremy asked me to shoot him in the back with a paint ball gun before he went and played with the boys. He wanted to know how it felt and how bad it hurt. He wanted to know what he was getting himself into. So I did it. I shot him. In the back. Twice. And it wasn't a house away. Like Mother like Son. Needless to say, we're going with a football for his big 10th birthday.