requests of a 14 year old....time stands still.

3/11/10


"All I want for my birthday is Muscle Milk, a trimmer, (for his lawn business), and some new shoes."
We took care of the muscle milk, and his grandparents took care of the trimmer and shoes.

A phone cover, a used ukulele from Carter and a new basketball from Savvy and Luke.

One of the hardest things for me to write about on this blog is Alec. I don't know if it's a first child thing, or the fact that he (as far as grades and sports go) is in High School in just a short four months. He's old and that means I am. He's wonderful, and I don't understand why I have the privilege to have him here in my life. I often feel like I don't deserve him. I often feel like he came to us because we didn't get it before we had him. He makes me get it.

I heard someone talk about a 'stand still' moment a few weeks ago.

It's not an 'a-ha' moment but a stand still moment. Where life stops around you for a brief moment and you just breathe it in. Stand and Breathe. Where you just take in whatever just happened, good or bad, big or small. A moment so special or so difficult, that it will never again leave you.

I feel like I've had more than usual of these stand still moments with Alec lately.

When I dropped him off at HIGH SCHOOL football practice. Jer tells people it was like I was dropping him off at Kindergarten again. I sat still in my car as I watched my skinny 14 year old walk up to something where he didn't know anyone, he had never played football before, where there were 'men' (they're huge!) who say they are still in High School standing next to him, and did I mention it's for High School?! If Jeremy hadn't talked me through it over the phone, I may still be on the side of the road somewhere huddled in my car. Things were still.

Or when I went in to a meeting with a student counselor, Alec and myself. We went over his goals, his grades, his accomplishments, his interests, his activities and what classes he will need to take and when he needs to take them in order to graduate High School and get into the college of his choice. (his choices are BYU and North Carolina...I'm dying here!) He has decided he would like to be a Sports Medicine Doctor and he is, for now, on that path. Things were still in that room, as I wondered why this meeting didn't happen in my own life. Would things have been different?

Or when I stood in a gym and listened to the new Herriman High basketball coach tell 50 young men, including mine, just what he expects from them if they are going to play for him next year. It took me back to my high school gym, and my high school coach telling me the same things. Again, it was still.

And the time he spoke at Savvy's baptism about the Holy Ghost. Who knew he could give such a talk at such a young age. I watched my son turn into a missionary and knew it was something he would do forever. He bore his testimony of how the Spirit can bless the lives of others and how it has blessed his own life right now. The room was very, very still.

I expect many more of these moments in the near future with him. I now look forward to them. They have been beautiful and meaningful and they will never leave me. I realize I can't change the fact that he is almost as tall as me. I can't stop time, or turn it back. I can only cherish and hold on to these stand still moments.

And never, ever let them go.